"I say 'awesome' all the time, it's totally academic!" - M.K. Journal 9

This week most of my appointments kind of blurred together and I don't really remember much from them other than the fact that they happened,they were boring and I was tired. The only thing that really stuck out this week from everything else was getting to work with Mike Tam.
As a person and a student he seems like a really amazing person. Being a disabled war veteran I have a lot of respect for him, but his kind personality and generous understanding of not only his predicament but also ours made working with him a real pleasure even if the work we do with him is closer to proof reader than tutor. I talked to April and Aundrea about him before he came in so I had prior knowledge of his specifi impairments and after an hour and only five or so pages with him, I couldn't help but emphathize with his struggles. Though it is his lot in life to have this disability, its eye opening to myself especially to have such an inept ability to clearly and concisely communicate my ideas from my mind into my fingers and onto a sheet of paper. I couldn't imagine not having that connection and the ease with which it creates when I sit down to write a paper.
After the hour, I was in a state of reverence, and ultimately, comtemplation about the smaller gifts in life. Like my ability to easily write papers that almost always come out exactly as I want them to. His little dog was so cute, I loved her. She got slightly impatient with us towards the end, but I was impressed with how well she behaved even when she looked really uncomfortable and uneasy. I was also greatly comforted by the fact that Mike had gotten ahold of a program to help him speak his paper versus trying to over come the disconnect that appears to have developed between his brain and his fingers. That session will probably always stand out to me, becaue it really put a lot of the little things in life in perspective for me.

Beyond that, the readings on online tutoring were interesting but also kind of confusing when I wasn't exactly sure what kind of system we have in our WC. Once we discussed it in class, after the pleasant time spent with Gail, I more fully understood the task at hand with email consultations. I think that I'll really take to them, personally, as I like to read and ponder, and respond to other people's papers while they're not there. Even though a face to face consultation would be most beneficial, I think the email consults will help break up the monotony of papers I've been seen. (FYI I have four comm 101 research papers next week, oh yay, required visits. =[ )

I wanted to talk a little bit about the stuff that Gail spoke of during her time in our class last night. I feel that what she brought to the table for us was very useful and almost imperatively important because without some of the information that she gave us I was feeling a little bit lost and frustrated (should I say frugated?) when dealing with some of the ESL students. I feel that we both just get sucked up in the sentence level issues that both of us know and understand and have the most ease in talking about. When I try to touch on some HOCs, that aren't grammar thats impeding the meaning of the paper, becoming an HOC, they seem so resistant. I understand that I'm just making suggestions and that they can take it or leave it, but I still wish a they would just give me some more feedback. I have been falling back on trying to find some kind of pattern, albeit verbage, or tense agreement, but I always try to give them something NEW to latch on to and remember and apply later on. But I feel that sometimes this won't happen in that particular session and I just feel like I've done them a disservice.

I am going to have to become a little bit more assertive when it comes to prioritizing and organizing the time spent together because I think both of us have become confused in sessions when I have just asked about the assignemnt, started reading and correcting. I may even just not let myself hold anything to write with the first ten minutes of the session so I'm not compelled to fall into that proof-reading trap that is so easy to fall into, not with just ESL papers, but also anyone how has a lot of small, distracting sentence level errors.

I have let lose some of my rigidity on an "ideal" text that they or I may feel I am trying to make them sound like. I understand that the point isn't to assimiliate them completely into the NES culture even if that is what they may most want. I understand that keeping a little of their own personal voice is one of the more important concerns, even if they don't quite recognize that yet. I believe that making sure their writing is still competent but their style isn't comprismised is one of the greatest things I can strive to achieve. Because if they can write in an acceptable fashion but still have their own twist and voice within even the most mudnane of research papers, then they are truly like the better of the NES writers. Keeping some kind of yourself in a larger mass of a writing community you're trying to fit into is more important than assimiliating into the even more boring and dangerously homogenous world of typical NES writers and speakers. I wish more ESL students understood this, and maybe some will after a few sessions with me or any one else and realizing that having good writing ability is more important than soundind like those other 150 papers that instructor will have to read. Those that stand out will get the most recognition, its just learning and adapting to stand out in the creative and surprising way, rather than the "foreigner that doesn't know how to write" way.

After Gail's visit, its kindled a new obsession with the amazing-ness of language aquistion and the powers of language, those that are native to use and those that aren't. I've been really into critical pedagogy and post modernism in application to education and the surround language and writing aspects and its all just too intersting. I wish I had more time to look. But after her visit I feel that I can help those ESL students who schedule with me better then I could before.

Have a great weekend! This one is on time! WOOO! :D I may even put in a lol catz.



They're all so funny, its so hard for me to pick just ONE.