Avoid being a "horrible red-pened douchebag" - MK

This week was a fairly productive one, my first shot at just a "practice" email consultation left me feeling pretty confident that I could continue doing any that I could get my hands on. It reminds me of the peer editing that we had in Kopplemann's class through both semesters I had wit him and I liked having the chance to really sit and reflect for a bit on a writer's work and concerns. Its a lot different then a face-to-face consultation but I like the differences, but still enjoy my one-on-one time. I found Joy's "mash-up" of our responses very useful, and she actually used more than entire paragraph from mine (am I allowed to disclose this information?!). This made me happy. :D I worried that going over the page limit and cramming as much information as I could for this one response would have negatively effect her decision to continue giving me these kinds of tasks later on in this semester or next, since it seems we don't get many email consults and the veterans already have a pretty strong grasp on them.

The readings were really great this week, Kudos Melissa for picking them! I really enjoyed the piece about Fannie the BW. It was long but it had all the right information in it to really feel like you experienced the consultations and frustrations of both the student and consultant. I didn't really like Morgan until the end, and when I read the same paragraph that you did in class (I have it underlined in my book) I realized that she was just doing the very best she could with very little training, support and determination and passion for her student. The learning disability presented in the other reading just blew my mind, again it makes me thankful that my brain works in a generally "normal" way. I do have a few difficulties absorbing and retrieving information if their not put into a fairly visual aspect, but nothing as severe as Barb's situation or Mike Tam's.

I also want to mention again that I've had NOTHING but good experiences with non-trad students, I don't ever feel like they're being condescending or judgmental towards little sophomore me with my piercings but still bubbly smile. I'm also glad that no one else in the Center seems to judge me for these small, aesthetic aspects of my entire person. It means a lot to me, its not that I'm insecure with the way I've made myself look, I'm just sick of being on the defensive for it. Generally I run into curiosity (especially now that I have my septum pierced) than harsh judgement, but I still hate having to give strangers an explanation. I don't really like strangers, ever, really. Except for the ones I get to work with and get to know, so they aren't "strangers" any longer.

My consultations this week went fairly and normally well. I had a lot of the communication 101 research papers and had different approaches to each one which made each session individualistic and interesting. Out of the four sessions I had this week that involved these papers there were two with positive experiences and one with a negative experience and another with a little bit of both. They were all at very different stages of the very recursive (see I remembered!) writing process. My negative experience had a hard time understanding why I wanted him to put in at least ONE TEENY TINY positive experience to try and balance his paper and make it seem a little bit more objective and not so slander-esque in nature. My positive experiences had nothing but good things to say about their groups, and one girl just needed me to have her formulate an actual "thesis". She had all her experiences and some research but no real direction. I got to do the whole, "tell me about it, write it down and contemplate it in the context of the entire essay" routine. It was fun and I think she really learned a good thing about writing one. Because her main concern was that her writing never seemed "focused" enough. And I got to show her how to get it to do that! :D

My last session this week was an international student who didn't opt to take the 121, 122, 123 classes to better help him with composition and writing. I asked him if he had taken these, he said "No." And he didn't seem very interested in my suggestions to do so. He can speak fairly well, and writes much better than he speaks, but as a Chinese exchange student he has some HOC concerns with structure, and formatting, as well as the typical issues with verb tenses and articles. I tried to touch on some stuff so he could go away with something other than me having him rewrite his thesis and APA citations, but he didn't seem very interested. I hate when they act like that. I just kept on going to what he wanted, but felt that he would benefit from a longer session or taking another composition class, but alas, as we discussed in class its not my PLACE let alone part of my job to have them realize what would ultimately be best for them.

ARGH! Haha, sometimes I wish I could just make them do as I say, but then I'd be a dictator, and no one likes a dictator. I have some notes on reader/writer assumption relationship, and also on our responses in sessions as well as email consults, and ho to make GENUINE responses that don't seem canned and unfriendly. I also liked April's idea of a compliment sandwich. which i use in person ALL the time when I want to criticize someone, but don't really want to make it totally obvious thats what I'm doing. I have a lot of notes, and I've already written a lot, and I don't want to take up too much of your time so I'll wrap it up. Aside from the entry I wrote last night, I just wanted to say that this is turning out to be a very worthwhile decision I made to give myself this opportunity. My semester would SUCK without the Center and all of the people in it.

:D

Again, Happy Halloween, have fun as Squirrelll! I'll be rocking the corpse bride look tomorrow.

Mentor (This isn't my next journal, just a precursor)

Over the past few weeks in class and the center I have become increasing comfortable not just with tutoring, but also with approaching the veterans and Joy with questions. I have also become quiet comfortable with going into Melissa's office when she doesn't seem too loaded with tasks and chit chatting about things and I love when we get to exchange quick morning greetings when I come in all sweaty and wheezy from my power walk from Ann Morrison (free parking).

I have been struggling with relating to some of my fellow peers and superiors because my main mentor from last year, Zach, is no longer with us. I knew that my adventure in the center would be a lot different than my journey through 101 ad 102 with Zach but, I never quite anticipated the various feelings I would run into that would crop up during this experience. I have had to come to terms with the apprehension I have when approaching someone for help or advice. For two reasons, I don't like admitting I need help, I am a very stubborn and proud person and I don't like changing my mind about something so when I encounter situations where I need to do this, its usually fairly difficult to convince myself to do as such.

But back to my main point, I have started to feel a lot more comfortable with the WC, the people and its lovely director. And sitting in class today, I was really happy to have Melissa as my guiding light, if I'll be bold. Her compassion and motivation to make sure that the experiences we have while in Engl 303 and and while working in the center is nothing short of mind bogglingly amazing, and her dedication is a model of which I hope to also reach. I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Melissa, you're truly amazing, inspiring and greatly appreciated." You're kind of like superman. I'm going to keep titling my Journals for the rest of the semester with some sort of amazing quote that you give me during that next week, wether its of wisdom or just a funny little quirky thing you said, it still inspires me.

I feel that I have found someone I'm comfortable with when I have to ask questions, get clarification or if I just want to talk. I feel like you care, and I also want to say I feel like Joy and the veterans and my fellow newbs do as well. Its almost odd for me to be in such a large group that seems to get along so well! Its really just refreshing for someone like me that believes the human race really isn't all the good most of the time.

Again, I know I've said this a million times, but I am so so so so so so sooooo happy for this experience and grateful and it just keeps getting better, and better and better. I look forward to my shifts at the WC with GREAT anticipation and excitement and really want to work EVEN MORE. But I don't think I can sacrifice anymore homework time at this juncture. But seriously, I am so happy. English 303 and working in the WC are the highlights of my day, of my semester so far, and quite possibly my college career in general.

But I still miss Zach a ton. But I'm glad I've formed a similar relationship with Melissa as well.

Again, HAPPY FREAKING HALLOWEEN. :D
Here's a kinda funny Halloween lolcatz. I had trouble finding one I liked that was halloween themed.

"I say 'awesome' all the time, it's totally academic!" - M.K. Journal 9

This week most of my appointments kind of blurred together and I don't really remember much from them other than the fact that they happened,they were boring and I was tired. The only thing that really stuck out this week from everything else was getting to work with Mike Tam.
As a person and a student he seems like a really amazing person. Being a disabled war veteran I have a lot of respect for him, but his kind personality and generous understanding of not only his predicament but also ours made working with him a real pleasure even if the work we do with him is closer to proof reader than tutor. I talked to April and Aundrea about him before he came in so I had prior knowledge of his specifi impairments and after an hour and only five or so pages with him, I couldn't help but emphathize with his struggles. Though it is his lot in life to have this disability, its eye opening to myself especially to have such an inept ability to clearly and concisely communicate my ideas from my mind into my fingers and onto a sheet of paper. I couldn't imagine not having that connection and the ease with which it creates when I sit down to write a paper.
After the hour, I was in a state of reverence, and ultimately, comtemplation about the smaller gifts in life. Like my ability to easily write papers that almost always come out exactly as I want them to. His little dog was so cute, I loved her. She got slightly impatient with us towards the end, but I was impressed with how well she behaved even when she looked really uncomfortable and uneasy. I was also greatly comforted by the fact that Mike had gotten ahold of a program to help him speak his paper versus trying to over come the disconnect that appears to have developed between his brain and his fingers. That session will probably always stand out to me, becaue it really put a lot of the little things in life in perspective for me.

Beyond that, the readings on online tutoring were interesting but also kind of confusing when I wasn't exactly sure what kind of system we have in our WC. Once we discussed it in class, after the pleasant time spent with Gail, I more fully understood the task at hand with email consultations. I think that I'll really take to them, personally, as I like to read and ponder, and respond to other people's papers while they're not there. Even though a face to face consultation would be most beneficial, I think the email consults will help break up the monotony of papers I've been seen. (FYI I have four comm 101 research papers next week, oh yay, required visits. =[ )

I wanted to talk a little bit about the stuff that Gail spoke of during her time in our class last night. I feel that what she brought to the table for us was very useful and almost imperatively important because without some of the information that she gave us I was feeling a little bit lost and frustrated (should I say frugated?) when dealing with some of the ESL students. I feel that we both just get sucked up in the sentence level issues that both of us know and understand and have the most ease in talking about. When I try to touch on some HOCs, that aren't grammar thats impeding the meaning of the paper, becoming an HOC, they seem so resistant. I understand that I'm just making suggestions and that they can take it or leave it, but I still wish a they would just give me some more feedback. I have been falling back on trying to find some kind of pattern, albeit verbage, or tense agreement, but I always try to give them something NEW to latch on to and remember and apply later on. But I feel that sometimes this won't happen in that particular session and I just feel like I've done them a disservice.

I am going to have to become a little bit more assertive when it comes to prioritizing and organizing the time spent together because I think both of us have become confused in sessions when I have just asked about the assignemnt, started reading and correcting. I may even just not let myself hold anything to write with the first ten minutes of the session so I'm not compelled to fall into that proof-reading trap that is so easy to fall into, not with just ESL papers, but also anyone how has a lot of small, distracting sentence level errors.

I have let lose some of my rigidity on an "ideal" text that they or I may feel I am trying to make them sound like. I understand that the point isn't to assimiliate them completely into the NES culture even if that is what they may most want. I understand that keeping a little of their own personal voice is one of the more important concerns, even if they don't quite recognize that yet. I believe that making sure their writing is still competent but their style isn't comprismised is one of the greatest things I can strive to achieve. Because if they can write in an acceptable fashion but still have their own twist and voice within even the most mudnane of research papers, then they are truly like the better of the NES writers. Keeping some kind of yourself in a larger mass of a writing community you're trying to fit into is more important than assimiliating into the even more boring and dangerously homogenous world of typical NES writers and speakers. I wish more ESL students understood this, and maybe some will after a few sessions with me or any one else and realizing that having good writing ability is more important than soundind like those other 150 papers that instructor will have to read. Those that stand out will get the most recognition, its just learning and adapting to stand out in the creative and surprising way, rather than the "foreigner that doesn't know how to write" way.

After Gail's visit, its kindled a new obsession with the amazing-ness of language aquistion and the powers of language, those that are native to use and those that aren't. I've been really into critical pedagogy and post modernism in application to education and the surround language and writing aspects and its all just too intersting. I wish I had more time to look. But after her visit I feel that I can help those ESL students who schedule with me better then I could before.

Have a great weekend! This one is on time! WOOO! :D I may even put in a lol catz.



They're all so funny, its so hard for me to pick just ONE.

Next Journal, I forgot what number it is

This is three days late. I suck. I also just don't know what to say. Workin' is going good. I had quite a few fairly productive and almost inspiration appointments. But still am having a hard time dealing with no show's and being treated like a grammar machine.

I like that we have a new policy on no show's and cancellations but still feel that it may not make a giant difference. Today I had one girl schedule an hour two days ahead of time, then no show, cancel her 1st half hour and showed up late to her second half hour that she kept... I wasn't exactly happy to work with her. It was also a very light assignment and I wish I had known that because whatever she SAID it was, it wasn't... it was a thank you letter for a scholarship donation..... OK.

In other news, Phil is a karaoke master. I had fun watching people sing and being in a bar atmosphere. So very fun. Kinda bummed that Gail wasn't able to show up last week. I was really looking forward to more experience and different exposure to ESL students. I feel like everyone else gets all these cool students and super productive, or at least interesting, sessions and then I don't... I guess thats probably just a common newb feeling.

The readings to me were super interesting but I just can't get over how much I didn't like the Power's reading. I understand that it was a summary of the progression their attitudes and approaches toward ESL students but it just came off as judgmental and almost shallow. That may just be my interpretation of it tho. I liked the other two pieces, the myth one especially tho some of the myths could be revised.

I'm excited to hear what Gail has to say about ESL students and their own particular needs, as well as learning about email consultations. I think I'll really like email consultations. I like the idea of it, so i think it will be a nice, and natural extension of the one on one in person tutoring.

So far, just taking it one day at a time and really enjoying everything!

Hazzah! Success! Glory! Victory!

Two of three appointments showed up today. I had an awesome day. I helped on gentleman with a refresher course on research paper writing, and was pleasantly surprised to see someone working at something well before the due date to insure the most complete, accurate and best work he could possibly turn in. He was also another fellow art major so I had great fun with our discussion.

My next appointment was a engl 101'er and she was convinced she had NO idea of how she was going to do an exploration for her class on some kind of community (or subculture) she is or was a part of. Turns out she's been on a swim team for over half of her life, and she made quite the list of potential points to talk about and describe. I was so happy! I even did the whole, "Here", hands a pencil to student, watches them scribble what they just said down. I sat back and let her talk her ideas out and by the end of it she was genuinely surprised that she generated so much to work from, I also assured her that once she starts writing it will get even easier.

:D Happy as a clam today. HAZZAH!!!!

Plus I got more hoursssss and I'm just having so much fun in the Center. Seriously its one of the main reasons why I look forward to Monday (who thought that was possible?) and Wednesdays.

Mmmhm!

Kickin' ass and takin names

Thank you Jenny and Melissa for taking it!!!! It made me giggle so hard.

6th Journal

This week was my first official week on the schedule as a "real" consultant and it didn't go exactly as I had envisioned it would. I had three appoints over the duration of the week and none of them showed. I was quite hurt and disappointed mainly because I was super excited to help people that had made real appointments with me. I did have a good few sessions with the same gentleman who is English 90, and had to write a paper that would take the writer out of the expreience and make it almost completely descriptive. Other then that I just sat around and watched everybody else's appointments show up rather then my own.

I quite enjoyed the reading this week on working with ESL students. The majority of the walk ins and sit ins I've done have been with ESL students and like I said last night if I were to make a scale of the students that come in that I admire most, ESL students would be at the top for the impressive determination and focus. I know that Melissa also said that that is ther "lot" in life, but still, I mean its impressive to see ANYONE work that hard for anything.

Ialso found the contridictions within the different readings also very interesting and didn't really pick up on it until it was mentioned in class last night. I also liked the different theories of language aquisiton that were presented. I haven't really dabbled in linguists much, mainly because as an art major, it doesn't come up but with my english minor I'll take a few linguistics courses. I'm really excited to take more courses in the english field and have been debating changing my major until about a week ago when I discovered the perfect way to say WHY I'm taking a more aesthetic approach to teaching rather than with writing and composition. (Though the connection between art and writing is still very strong, at least within myself, with thoughts also provoking artistic expression as well as with writing,the visual arts are just another form of language to express ideas.)

I almost want to double major but then I'd be trying to kill myself and I don't think thats the best way to do it. If I go into graduate school, writing could be something to consider. I don't know. I'ma habitual planner, and I like to have all these crazy ideas cooked up to make myself feel like I'm actually doing something interesting and crazy unique.

Class was a riot last night and I want to give Melissa giant KUDOS for having a Kolln review. It made a lot more sense then if I were to read it. I also put in my discussion Q's (for Zach if he feels like helping me out with this if he reads this entry) that I'm trying to formulate a visual way to get grammar to work for me. I've been trying mneumonic (SP?) devices to try and help me remember stuff and it seems to be working... kind of. I need to look over all the handouts and materials we have in the center so that I can become more aquainted and familiar with them for future use with native students as well as ESL or ELL or L2 (3,4,5,6?) students. Those acronyms are crazy!

All in all, looking forward to my next appointments next week and making $24 a week! WOO! Can I consider a few hours on friday/saturday? Or longer hours on Wednesday? I stay on campus anyway once I'm done so if it would help out to have me stay longer, that would be cool too. I don't mind tacking on another hour or so a week. I think I can handle it. :D

Also I wanted to leave a nice little chuckle for you guys at the end of my journals now since I'm all Chuck Norris'ed out and what not.
So here you guys go!

No Shows

Both of my appointments for today were no shows. I watched everyone else pick up walk ins and have their appoinments come in early. But I got to sit and enter in files while everyone else got to do what they were supposed to be doing. Further cementing my dissatisfaction with our policy that has no place for no shows. I felt really unwanted and unliked today when both of my appointments didn't show. One did come back later and I took him as a walk in while, I took another walk in at ten when my first didn't show. I just wanted to say that my first day did not go as I had envisioned. =[

I don't feel very happy about being disregarded like that. I even told the first appointment that finally bothered to show up that he hurt my feelings. I hope it made him realize how it's not ok to blow stuff like that off.
=[[
And this cold crappy rainy weather isn't helping my mood at all.

Le Journal 5

I want to start this journal entry with the great and amazing news that I finally finsihed TWO chapters in Kolln and almost understood most what was discussed. This is a giant achievement for me so far, and I hope that this newly emerged progress in the name of grammar understanding and application continues.

This week was a good week, in general existence realted matters as well as WC matters. My monday was super busy, and I really enjoyed the faster pace. Jenny was unfortunately ill, and we had to cover her appointments. I ended up taking a walk in and one of Jenny's appointments. They both were grammar correction based, I tried to convince them to make other possible changes but they were both quite unresponsive to any of my suggestions. I wasn't too hurt in that regard, but I understand that during some sessions I will be more of a grammar and punctuation checker and less of an actual tutor. I guess its something we will all have to get used to as we start consulting on a regular basis.

I didn't do any sit ins but mainly held down the fort the other hour I was in the center. Our activity with your 102 students on thursday evening was a blast! Juan was super cool and had an interseting topic and some good questions and concerns and I believe that Sara and I really made a difference in his thinking about this paper. He already had most of what he wanted to discuss figured out and had his interviews all set up, one done, notes, materials and observation time already planned. I believe he'll do excellently on his paper.

Our readings were pretty informative this week, I enjoyed the Dialogue one best. When they discussed the certain philosophies, I was jumping for joy because I am starting my educational philosophy studies in my foundations class and ACTUALLY knew what they were talking about and understanding it all and making the connections and just throughly enjoying myself. The other two readings, The First Five Minutes for setting an agenda and the different important aspects of various papers were good. I didn't exactly enjoy the first two examples in Newkirk's piece but I understood the purpose of all three. I enjoyed seeing a confrence with both student and teacher interaction.

I am starting to really love and appreciate the time and people in the Center. I am learning so much from the veterans and my fellow 303ers, and I am so happy that I have this opportunity. I had a rough week with my foundations of education professor, and will be filing an official complaint against him, but the support I got from not only Zach in my last post but my fellow peers has given me a new zeal of inspiration for the path I have chosen for myself. I really value this experience I am having because it ties in so nicely and neatly with teaching. I have been trying to define both separately; teaching versus tutoring, and its been difficult. Nonetheless, tutoring will help shape my idea of teaching and my philosophy and pedagogy.

During class there was a lot of good discussion, as usual, and I picked up on the point of being more writer centered then paper centered while were in a session. I liked the idea that Melissa stated that revision is seeing the topic from a different angle or POV or perspective. I also enjoyed the reminders about being personable in sessions. I forget sometimes how much I personally enjoy it when someone who is doing me a service or I have an interaction with is happy that I am doing this with them or that they are helping me. Its so easy to fall into a rut where everyone is the same and to just block out the nice-ness aspect of interaction. I am not a GIANT fan of the human race in general but I love seeing people beam when you ask them how their day is going or even just leaving them with a nice comment as they leave the center. It really is the little things that matter most at times. I am going to try and remember to also include some form of this statement, "What woudly ou like to take away from this session?", in all of my sessions so that both the student and I can have an agenda to follow that both of us with be happy with. Also remembering to use a more positively connotated language versus a negative one when dealing with problems in the papers versus concerns. I am not here to demean or guilt anyone about their writing. I am here to help everyone with their approaches to any kind of writing and help them learn.

The meeting was also very helpful today, and I enjoyed having the discussion we did concerning no shows and appointment restrictions. I am going to hold a strong belief that if the students are taking advantage of us as a resource, and not respect us that our resource should not be as readily accesible to them. I don't believe in people getting away with irresponsible or disrespectful behavior. We're all supposed to be adults around here, so let's act like one sometimes, I mean there are appropriate times to not be. :D

Have a great weekend enjoying the crappy weather. =/ I'm not ready for winter yet!

I AM ABOUT TO RANT

about the absolute absurdity and audacity of some of the faculty on this campus. This past week I have been berated relentlessly about failing my history exam for my foundations of education course. This particular instructor also felt that one shaming and guilt trip remark was not enough. He had to send an entire email to EVERYONE to scare those that failed (31 out of about 100) into dropping his class because of our poor efforts and lack of motivation. I do not see how my failure to pass ONE exam warrants this thought that I am not motivated nor passionate. This instructor has not made an effort to get to know me, as he promised he would with students. He is openly biased in class, and has already made strong suggestions as to how he thinks teaching, and picking future teachers should be conducted. I do not carry many of his same beliefs, and I make my point known in class. I stand up for what I do belief in and I can argue and defend my points with strong conviction and validity. I am not a weak little college student that needs to be shamed for having an off day. I am not someone who will sit back and take abuse like this from a grown man, who resides on our insidious school board, electing officials that mock activists and compassionates alike. I stand strongly against what is grossly wrong within our public education system and our society.

And most of all the main reason I want to become an educator is to try and spread the same sense of awareness to question what is given to you, always. And to NEVER lay down and take abuse like that. Come tuesday after class, I'm telling this particular instructor how much he offended me with his email and so very sadly mistaken he is to underestimate me. I don't take any one's bullshit. Least of all some Ph.D toting biased nincompoop.